How Should Parents Answer Questions About Dumbledore Being Gay?

JK Rowling, author of the series of Harry Potter books, recently revealed that Albus Dumbledore, beloved head master of Harry Potters' Hogwarts, was, in her eyes, gay.

Following Dumbledore's outing, the Internet is full of parental comments indicating feelings of betrayal. How could Rowling, they say, allow their children to come to know, love and respect Dumbledore only to announce (after the fact) that he is gay - leaving unprepared parents to explain their children's questions about homosexuality? Here is advice on how to deal with the sudden Dumbledore dilemma:

1. Calmly Evaluate The Situation: First determine the reality of your situation. If your children have not heard the news themselves and are not asking questions, there is no reason to tell them right now unless you want to. Since there is absolutely no overt homosexual references in any of the books, there is very little possibility that a child would pick up on Dumbledore's "gayness." If you would rather not discuss homosexuality in the same discussion as Harry Potter, there is no reason why you can't act as if nothing has happened and allow your children to enjoy the books as written.

2. If You're Asked Questions About Dumbledore's Coming Out, Consider Your Child's Age And Respond Appropriately: If your child hears about Dumbledore's homosexuality and asks you about it, use this as an opportunity to speak openly and give your child the accurate information you want him to know. The truth is, sooner or later, your child will overhear references to homosexuality and will have questions. So make sure you're the one supplying the information rather than letting your child form an understanding or opinion about homosexuality from his young peers - who may not be giving him information you'd like him to internalize.

For Preschoolers And Young Children: Preschoolers aren't mature enough to process much information about homosexuality. Most children will usually be content with simplistic responses. Answer exactly what your child asked - nothing more. Often, parents will become nervous and try to over explain - leading to an over response to a question your child never asked. If asked, for example "what does gay mean?" you need only tell a preschooler "Gay if a phrase people sometimes use to describe a relationship." Most preschoolers are fine with this.

For Older Children And Preteens: Many parents worry that openly talking about sexual preference might sway their children's later sexual practices. There is a much evidence which suggests this just is not accurate. Children at this age are extremely curious about how relationships work. They are also usually exposed to homosexual concepts by this time. It's OK to tell them that sometimes when two people want to have a relationship, all that is required is they are two people - not necessarily a man or a woman. School aged children usually have a strong sense of right and wrong so this might be a good time to discuss discrimination.

3. Make Sure Your Children Know They Were Right To Ask And You Are Open To Their Questions: When you speak openly, honestly and from the heart about your children's questions, you are showing them that you are the right person to ask the tough questions. You want your children to remember this when they are faced with important choices or crossroads. Show your child you will give him accurate information and if you don't know the best answer, you will immediately find it out for him. Doing so will lay the foundation of openness and trust that you want to be the cornerstone of your home.

4. Believe It Or Not, Most Kids Will Not Care About Dumbledore's Sexuality: My son and I were watching a football game, when the announcer said "this game is more shocking than Dumbledore's coming out." My 8 year old gasped and sputtered "Dumbledore's gay?" I was a bit taken aback that he knew the term "coming out," but I immediately goggled the information and within 10 minutes, we knew about Rowling's view on Dumbledore's sexuality. My son merely shrugged and said "He's a good guy to me. He did most things right except always hiring the wrong Dark Arts teacher." I honestly don't think my son has given Dumbledore's coming out a second thought. He chooses to focus on Dumbledore's character, intelligence and loyalty, which I think is precisely the point Rowling intended to make when she thrust Dumbledore "out of the closet."