Helping Kids Cope With Natural Disasters, Tragedy Or Change (Like The California Wildfires)

The troubling exposure of wildfires destroying homes, lives and property in California can be devastating to both children and families directed effected by the fires and those witnessing the destruction on television and through print media.
Many parents and caregivers wonder how to best handle children’s questions and concerns about the wildfires (or other upsetting events that children might encounter in everyday life.) Children often ask questions because they are seeking reassurance about how the events are going to effect their day to day lives. Here are some ways to effectively provide the reassurance that children are seeking:

1. Give Immediate And Continued Reassurance: When tragedy like the wildfires strikes, a child's world view is temporarily shaken. The world is no longer a safe and predictable place. Immediately give careful, honest answers and reassurance. Gently offer limited explanations that contain only as much age-appropriate information that the child needs to know. Over explaining will often create more anxiety for a child. Give very simple explanations: “There are large fires in California but the firefighters are doing their very best to put them out.” A child’s greatest fear in stressful situations is being lost or left alone. Offer reassurances like “We’re together now and I’ll always do my best to protect you.”

2. Limit Your Family’s Exposure To Troubling Images: It’s natural to be concerned and curious about the latest turn of events during trying circumstances. But young children often do not understand that the images they see happened previously. Many assume that they are watching a live event and will assume that everything they see is happening in real time. They will assume the event is happening over and over again and will be reinjured each time. Reliving these emotions delay healing for both children and adults.

3. Provide Experiences That Connect People, Release Tension & Promote Healing After A Crisis: Aggression and angst are normal after periods of change or turmoil. Give your family creative outlets where they can release these feelings and frustrations, forge a connection with others, and help heal. Older children can help with community service activities and encourage younger children to draw get well cards or journal to express their feelings. Take some blankets or clothes to the Red Cross as a family or reach out to families who are going through tough situations to see how you can help.

4. Seek Out Additional Or Professional Help If Needed: After a crises, it can be normal for children to regress to past behaviors like bedwetting, thumb sucking or aggression. Watch for prolonged, severe concerns like school problems, extreme anger or listlessness, risky behavior, social withdrawal or repeatedly making the event a primary focus of life. Seeking professional help doesn’t mean your child is at fault or that you couldn’t help your child. It just means you’re a concerned parent who is getting your child the help he needs.

There are many books, resources and professionals that can help families transition tragedy or change like the California wildfires. Do not hesitate to use them if needed. That's why they are there.

Natural disasters and tragedy like the California wildfires can unsettle both the kids and families directly affected and those who only witness the events from afar. Parents can do a great deal to help reassure frightened or concerned children that there are caring individuals and helpful resources available that will help provide reassurance and relief.



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